Marriage in the Fourth Trimester

How to prioritize your husband during postpartum.

Andrea Rudy

1/23/20230 min read

Don’t allow resentment to take root. Your husband’s role will look different than yours at this time. Your feelings and tendencies won’t be exactly alike. Resenting it will cause a major disconnect.

Say thank you continually. A thankful heart is a happy heart. Focus on what he is doing, not on what he is not doing. He will be glad to contribute even more when you recognize and appreciate him.

Maintain physical intimacy. God designed marriage to thrive through intimacy. Yes, allow your body to heal. But meanwhile, look for other ways to show your husband you still want him.

View this as an opportunity to grow. Instead of viewing this time as a season of barely surviving, change your perspective to see it as an opportunity to strengthen your marriage and grow even closer.

It is so common to view postpartum as a time when your marriage is put on hold, it’s not even questioned anymore. It’s just assumed that you will grow apart, that you’ll struggle through the sleep deprivation and mood swings and frustration and hopefully emerge on the other side - just barely.

But as Christian women, we are called to be set apart from what culture considers normal. Our marriages are to come before our children. Our relationship with our husband is to come second only to our relationship with the Lord. Even in the postpartum season, your man needs to know that he is still your priority.

Postpartum, or the fourth trimester, is a beautiful time of emotional and physical bonding between a mother and her baby. This process is God-designed! But it’s easy to idolize this intimate mother-infant relationship when it not only brings gratification to baby but to mama as well.

You may be living in a magnificent symbiosis with your newborn. But don’t forget that you are still “one flesh” with your husband.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

This concept flies in the face of a popular self-love message. Yet self-sacrifice has been part of the Christian’s identity from the very beginning.

You may think you won’t be able to handle that - nurturing both a new baby and your marriage. But our God doesn’t ask us to do impossible tasks. He love us and wants what is best for us! The lifelong gift of healthy marriage is well worth cultivating in this season. Won’t you trust him to give you the capacity to do what he asks of you?